Two very different meetings on sex work decriminalization, one conclusion: stop judging and dismissing each other and start listening to and embracing each other

Earlier this summer, at a church in midtown Manhattan, I attended what I thought was to be a discussion of New York state’s bill to decriminalize sex work. It became clear very quickly that it was not that, but a misinformation session. Seemed I was the only one in the room including the panelists who had actually read the bill. I texted a friend during the meeting that I felt like I was trapped in Fox News given all the misinformation and audience manipulation.

We walked out when a woman of color, a sex worker, who was trying to speak was forcibly removed by several white men while a panelist told the audience to ignore her. I will never forget the judgmental dismissiveness or the desperate need to be heard in their voices.

This is a human being and likely someone who has been marginalized, unheard, ignored for their entire life being dismissed, put down, and treated violently by people allegedly advocating against that exact behavior. This was not feminism, not advocacy, not democracy.

Tonight, I attended the teach-in at the LGBT Community Center in the village on sex work, the NY bill, and all the many intersectional issues. The openness and nuance of the discussion tonight was the exact opposite of the other meeting. Amazing, brave speakers sharing very tough and personal stories; advocates provided information and data about sex work and the NY bill; and politicians engaged in real discussion about this and related issues including poverty, homelessness, criminal justice and how we make change that helps people — all people even those who are marginalized, unheard, ignored.

This is a hard topic, but I commit to bringing it up, trying to find common ground, and pushing for change with everyone I know, including my electeds officials.

Two key messages from tonight are the key messages we should all always remember as we advocate for our democracy, our communities, and each other

…fighting for survival and poverty should not be criminalized

…stop judging and dismissing each other and start listening to and embracing each other